.relaxing by the skin of my teeth.
so today was my first day off from work. not thanksgiving, not christmas, just an extra day with no specific celebratory expectations. i went to bagby hot springs. like, i planned ahead. i hardly ever do this, and consequently i spend almost all of my weekends putzing around, running errands until the day is done. but this is a new year and i want to do things, not just run errands.
it took two hours to drive out there, plus a short hike. for an hour in a mineral-filled tub, it takes almost a full day of transportation. i forgot to get gas in estacada, the closest town by 40 miles, and spent the rest of the day wrestling heart palpitations. i was almost sure we were going to run out of gas. out there, in the middle of nowhere, and we were going to be stranded with nothing but a bag of trail mix and our already empty nalgenes, and we were going to die.
this is my day off, people. the fun adventure that i've been looking forward to for weeks. and i spent almost all of it in a state of panic. the almost empty gas tank has nothing to do with it. if it weren't for that, i'd be terrified that my cat was dying of an apartment fire, or i left the stove on, or i said or didn't say something to somebody that was all wrong. i'm a worrywart of the worst kind. i worry way past what is cute or comical, and on into what is terrifying to me and frustrating and annoying to others.
by the time we had arrived to the springs, having slipped and slid our way for a mile and a half of frozen trails, i didn't even want to be there. i was ready to turn back around and get over with what we were about to do, just go and get stranded, hitch hike, walk for gas, call a friend, whatever. we were filling our tubs and the water scalded my ankles and i was thinking, as i tend to think when i'm in a panic, that i am incapable of enjoying anything, of having any fun or living in the moment. the slightest problem arises, and i lose my cool. i am not someone you want to be held up with in a convenience store.
thank god for hot water, heavy and sour with chemicals. that's why you go to the hot springs in the first place, to relax, but i was shocked that it worked. as soon as i got in the tub, i was mesmerized by overhead branches and the pucker of my toes. i actually began to take it easy. for me, this is a minor miracle. my kitchen cabinet is a shrine to relaxation, filled to the gills with wine, bourbon, melatonin, tylenol pm, niquil, pot. and i take it all, daily. with moderate effect.
that feeling lasted all day, that wet, heavy feeling that lubricated the rest of the drive home, during which the tank never even approached empty. i'm crazier than i can even anticipate sometimes.
it took two hours to drive out there, plus a short hike. for an hour in a mineral-filled tub, it takes almost a full day of transportation. i forgot to get gas in estacada, the closest town by 40 miles, and spent the rest of the day wrestling heart palpitations. i was almost sure we were going to run out of gas. out there, in the middle of nowhere, and we were going to be stranded with nothing but a bag of trail mix and our already empty nalgenes, and we were going to die.
this is my day off, people. the fun adventure that i've been looking forward to for weeks. and i spent almost all of it in a state of panic. the almost empty gas tank has nothing to do with it. if it weren't for that, i'd be terrified that my cat was dying of an apartment fire, or i left the stove on, or i said or didn't say something to somebody that was all wrong. i'm a worrywart of the worst kind. i worry way past what is cute or comical, and on into what is terrifying to me and frustrating and annoying to others.
by the time we had arrived to the springs, having slipped and slid our way for a mile and a half of frozen trails, i didn't even want to be there. i was ready to turn back around and get over with what we were about to do, just go and get stranded, hitch hike, walk for gas, call a friend, whatever. we were filling our tubs and the water scalded my ankles and i was thinking, as i tend to think when i'm in a panic, that i am incapable of enjoying anything, of having any fun or living in the moment. the slightest problem arises, and i lose my cool. i am not someone you want to be held up with in a convenience store.
thank god for hot water, heavy and sour with chemicals. that's why you go to the hot springs in the first place, to relax, but i was shocked that it worked. as soon as i got in the tub, i was mesmerized by overhead branches and the pucker of my toes. i actually began to take it easy. for me, this is a minor miracle. my kitchen cabinet is a shrine to relaxation, filled to the gills with wine, bourbon, melatonin, tylenol pm, niquil, pot. and i take it all, daily. with moderate effect.
that feeling lasted all day, that wet, heavy feeling that lubricated the rest of the drive home, during which the tank never even approached empty. i'm crazier than i can even anticipate sometimes.
posted by .i'll never tell. at 4:32 PM
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