.something fantastic.

people tell me that everything is cyclical. you go up, you come down. you have a dry spell, and then you're saturated in men/opportunities/creative energy, whatever you're looking for. right now, i'm most certainly hanging out on the dank, fertile underbelly of the circle. opportunity is ripe, but as of now i've got nothing going on. i've got a long list of wants, and a short and waning list of haves.

i'm listening often to a cover of abba's "s.o.s." by a bluegrass band, and probably not just because it's catchy. having $1800 in my savings acount and nearly that much in bills isn't an adequate safety net for indefinite unemployment. i sent out two resumes already, and have identified a third job to apply to. but the phone hasn't begun to ring and i'm already ravishing my fingernails.

my friend said to me something about quadrants in your life, and how a happy person has filled all four of them up with something satisfying. we decided the four tenets of happiness are love, work, creativity, and spiritually. i'm 1 for 4 right now: out of a job and emotionally unattached. my spiritual endeavors consist of swearing at an occasional yoga video. at least i try to write, knit, photograph, and somehow harness some creative inspiration.

i can't help feeling exhilarated by all of my empty quadrants. i'm currently weightless and can tackle any opportunity that comes my way. everything is possible for me right now, from shopping at trader joe's on a weekday morning (no crowds!) to taking a job in argentina. i could kiss a stranger and have no consequences.

granted, i haven't kissed any strangers lately. and i won't. but i have a certain manic suspicion that something lovely will bloom amid all this wreckage.