.forest from the trees.
so yesterday, my roommate and i set out to pick up some free firewood to get us through the approaching winter season. it was eleven am on a sunday morning, i had finished a pot of espresso but had not begun to think about solid food. i changed into getting-dirty pants and a sports bra, filled up my water bottle and headed towards the car. and by car, i mean borrowed enormous truck with huge trailer. we were going to get a lot of wood, i figured. it should take a few hours. i won't be back until two in the afternoon!
it was at this point, when i was putting on sneakers, that i heard my roommate say something peculiar: "i think we're going to need a lot of snacks." why would we need "a lot of snacks" to take a short drive to somebody's garage and pile wood into our truck? we may need a snack, but certainly not an abundance of snacks. i began to suspect that something was really going on when she packed a bag with pretzels, nuts, granola bars, AND four apples. where are we going where we will need to eat multiple apples!?
at this point, i had the sense to put on deodorant. because if four apples are involved, my armpits are going to stink.
when we got in the car, i realized that the reason we needed so many snacks was because we would be driving for a very long time. 64 miles east on the freeway and many more on dirt roads.
we arrived on a huge lot almost two hours later. the ride was very pleasant for eating snacks, and my armpits were smelling powder fresh. now we just had to find the pile of wood and stock up. we were greeted by a bouncy little man who took us on a short nature walk to the woodpile. we meandered through the trees and chatted and my roommate's dog, charlie, ran in circles with his tongue hanging out. the air was warm and i was glad i had brought my camera.
at the end of our walk, the generous man with the free wood told us to walk down a hill and gave us a wheelbarrow and said he would meet us there with the chainsaw. the wood must need some chopping up a bit, i thought. wee, chainsaw! but at the bottom of the hill, there was no wood.
it was at this time that i began to realize, with shock and disgust, that by wood, this man mean TREES. and in order to turn the trees into wood, we had to cut them down, saw them up, and CARRY them many, many footsteps to our truck.
not only would the afternoon consist of hours of carrying extremely heavy trees with our bare hands, but it became gradually evident that the wood-bearing man was completely fucking insane. he cut down tree after tree until our truck was full, his truck was full, and we were covered of sap, scrapes, and sighs. we begged him to stop, saying "we're tired now. we have to save some energy for putting the wood away once we get home." "oh no, you'll rest on the drive back," he said. we were obviously dealing with a madman.
we pleaded with the crazy wood man until he let us finally get back in the car to drive away. we said goodbye and thank you, and the man still would not let us leave. "you're going to come see the chipper!?" we could not say no because he was so earnest and hopefull. so we drove with him to the wood chipper, which is a contraption that makes chips out of wood, and watched the fascinating spectacle of chips being made out of wood. we compared pine chips, oak chips, and douglas fir chips. then we watched him raise the shovel of his bulldozer up and down with a giddy look on his face. "do you need to move a big rock?" he beamed. at this point, we said our stern goodbyes and drove away as he began to eat from a cold can of clam chowder.
we drove past the metal dinosaur on the edge of his property, past the shipping container that his neighbor lives in and the 400 cars parked outside of his house. we drove nearly two hours back to portland, ate every last bit of our snacks (including three out of the four apples) and carried all of the wood up our driveway and into the basement. we were not finished until 9 pm, and then we decided to make pies.
it was a really tiresome day. and it felt really good. but next winter, i think we may just buy some wood.
it was at this point, when i was putting on sneakers, that i heard my roommate say something peculiar: "i think we're going to need a lot of snacks." why would we need "a lot of snacks" to take a short drive to somebody's garage and pile wood into our truck? we may need a snack, but certainly not an abundance of snacks. i began to suspect that something was really going on when she packed a bag with pretzels, nuts, granola bars, AND four apples. where are we going where we will need to eat multiple apples!?
at this point, i had the sense to put on deodorant. because if four apples are involved, my armpits are going to stink.
when we got in the car, i realized that the reason we needed so many snacks was because we would be driving for a very long time. 64 miles east on the freeway and many more on dirt roads.
we arrived on a huge lot almost two hours later. the ride was very pleasant for eating snacks, and my armpits were smelling powder fresh. now we just had to find the pile of wood and stock up. we were greeted by a bouncy little man who took us on a short nature walk to the woodpile. we meandered through the trees and chatted and my roommate's dog, charlie, ran in circles with his tongue hanging out. the air was warm and i was glad i had brought my camera.
at the end of our walk, the generous man with the free wood told us to walk down a hill and gave us a wheelbarrow and said he would meet us there with the chainsaw. the wood must need some chopping up a bit, i thought. wee, chainsaw! but at the bottom of the hill, there was no wood.
it was at this time that i began to realize, with shock and disgust, that by wood, this man mean TREES. and in order to turn the trees into wood, we had to cut them down, saw them up, and CARRY them many, many footsteps to our truck.
not only would the afternoon consist of hours of carrying extremely heavy trees with our bare hands, but it became gradually evident that the wood-bearing man was completely fucking insane. he cut down tree after tree until our truck was full, his truck was full, and we were covered of sap, scrapes, and sighs. we begged him to stop, saying "we're tired now. we have to save some energy for putting the wood away once we get home." "oh no, you'll rest on the drive back," he said. we were obviously dealing with a madman.
we pleaded with the crazy wood man until he let us finally get back in the car to drive away. we said goodbye and thank you, and the man still would not let us leave. "you're going to come see the chipper!?" we could not say no because he was so earnest and hopefull. so we drove with him to the wood chipper, which is a contraption that makes chips out of wood, and watched the fascinating spectacle of chips being made out of wood. we compared pine chips, oak chips, and douglas fir chips. then we watched him raise the shovel of his bulldozer up and down with a giddy look on his face. "do you need to move a big rock?" he beamed. at this point, we said our stern goodbyes and drove away as he began to eat from a cold can of clam chowder.
we drove past the metal dinosaur on the edge of his property, past the shipping container that his neighbor lives in and the 400 cars parked outside of his house. we drove nearly two hours back to portland, ate every last bit of our snacks (including three out of the four apples) and carried all of the wood up our driveway and into the basement. we were not finished until 9 pm, and then we decided to make pies.
it was a really tiresome day. and it felt really good. but next winter, i think we may just buy some wood.
posted by .i'll never tell. at 4:52 PM
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