.hard feelings after all.
yeah, no, i was dead wrong. dude was into me. dude was so into me he sent me an unusually kind and endearing email the following afternoon. he may have actually said i was "darling."
i looked it up in the dictionary to see if perhaps my vocabulary was outdated and darling is actually slang for "embarrassing drunk girl" or "badly dressed embarrassing drunk girl." but no, it's meanings are all complimentary.
this dude just earned so many props for exceptional dating etiquette. making contact the very next day after a date to say he had a good time is, unfortunately, out of the ordinary. and he threw in a very well-crafted sentence about digging my "insights." it may be some kind of calculated compliment intended to convey that he's into women for their minds. but nevertheless, the email had me totally sold on this guy.
except that it didn't. and being exactly the kind of email a girl like me wants, it should have sealed the deal.
i have already tried to force myself to like someone to which i wasn't attracted. i thought i would be endeared to her gradually. i thought that i could learn to want her. her vocabulary, her sarcasm, and her vegetarian sentiment would somehow make up for the fact that i felt nothing when i looked at her. and i ended up in a relationship with her for nine months, all the time forcing myself to go through the motions of sex and feeling guilty for not wanting to be with her. she was sweet, smart, and she adored me. how dare i want anything more?
as tempting as it is for me to settle into a relationship because someone else is willing, eager, and witty, i know i can't do that again. i don't think it's selfish or haughty to want everything i want. i want someone who calls the next day with clever complements. i want someone who uses words that i have to look up in my travel dictionary in the bathroom while we're on a date. i want wit, affection for animals, impeccable punctuation (it's a big deal to me, i know it's weird), and height. i want somebody who's so darn adorable that i throw up in my mouth a little bit each time i look at them. and in the meantime, i need to be alone and not distracting myself with the next best thing.
so i spent a full 24 hours writing and editing an earnest pitch for being friends. and i sincerely hoped that we could be. but i guess slamming someone with rejection and transparent excuses ("i really like being a single cat lady") doesn't inspire friendliness in people. i got a very cordial thanks-but-no-thanks reply ("your cat is very lucky"), but it stung with reciprocated rejection. i guess it wasn't my "insight" he was digging after all.
i looked it up in the dictionary to see if perhaps my vocabulary was outdated and darling is actually slang for "embarrassing drunk girl" or "badly dressed embarrassing drunk girl." but no, it's meanings are all complimentary.
this dude just earned so many props for exceptional dating etiquette. making contact the very next day after a date to say he had a good time is, unfortunately, out of the ordinary. and he threw in a very well-crafted sentence about digging my "insights." it may be some kind of calculated compliment intended to convey that he's into women for their minds. but nevertheless, the email had me totally sold on this guy.
except that it didn't. and being exactly the kind of email a girl like me wants, it should have sealed the deal.
i have already tried to force myself to like someone to which i wasn't attracted. i thought i would be endeared to her gradually. i thought that i could learn to want her. her vocabulary, her sarcasm, and her vegetarian sentiment would somehow make up for the fact that i felt nothing when i looked at her. and i ended up in a relationship with her for nine months, all the time forcing myself to go through the motions of sex and feeling guilty for not wanting to be with her. she was sweet, smart, and she adored me. how dare i want anything more?
as tempting as it is for me to settle into a relationship because someone else is willing, eager, and witty, i know i can't do that again. i don't think it's selfish or haughty to want everything i want. i want someone who calls the next day with clever complements. i want someone who uses words that i have to look up in my travel dictionary in the bathroom while we're on a date. i want wit, affection for animals, impeccable punctuation (it's a big deal to me, i know it's weird), and height. i want somebody who's so darn adorable that i throw up in my mouth a little bit each time i look at them. and in the meantime, i need to be alone and not distracting myself with the next best thing.
so i spent a full 24 hours writing and editing an earnest pitch for being friends. and i sincerely hoped that we could be. but i guess slamming someone with rejection and transparent excuses ("i really like being a single cat lady") doesn't inspire friendliness in people. i got a very cordial thanks-but-no-thanks reply ("your cat is very lucky"), but it stung with reciprocated rejection. i guess it wasn't my "insight" he was digging after all.
posted by .i'll never tell. at 12:05 PM
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