.i don't know what color my goddamn parachute is.
it seems like everybody else in the world has some idea what they're doing. or what they want to do.
fucking this american life guy, ira glass. he seems to have things pretty figured out, what with changing the face of public radio and all.
my friend sara, starting midwifery school this fall. at yale. selling her first house. at age 24.
my friend kari, head brewer at terminal gravity brewing. has a master's degree in brewing beer. just bought her first house.
my friend meredith, just got back from the peace corps in madagascar. moving full speed ahead in her career of progressive waste management. i don't even know what that means. oh, and also getting her master's in public administration.
me: sitting at my kitchen table, lights off. windows closed so that cats don't jump out. listening to built to spill next to a pot of dead cat grass. eating soggy greek salad that i stole from work. i work for a high tech marketing and pr firm. i am absolutely unfulfilled, clueless, and miserable.
and everyday i have a new escape plan. today: peace corps. yesterday: organic farm apprenticeship in san jose. two days ago: join the student conservation association and live in backwoods alaska. i would even get to carry a gun.
today, sara says i should check out the almunae network and find a mentor. all of these friends (excluding ira) have all attended wellesley college, the school from that movie with julia roberts, "mona lisa smile," and yes. it's just like that movie. bunch of high-achieving cunts. and they all seem to have their shit figured out. i don't belong on the almnae list.
so i'm sorting through the alumnae list, and instead of feeling inspired i compare myself to every single person and my heart starts pounding because i'll never be the research assistant at the metropolitan museum of art like one of my classmates. i'll never be head of graduate admissions at yale. fucking yale. fucking elitist, prestigious meaningful career paths.
i can't even grow cat grass.
fucking this american life guy, ira glass. he seems to have things pretty figured out, what with changing the face of public radio and all.
my friend sara, starting midwifery school this fall. at yale. selling her first house. at age 24.
my friend kari, head brewer at terminal gravity brewing. has a master's degree in brewing beer. just bought her first house.
my friend meredith, just got back from the peace corps in madagascar. moving full speed ahead in her career of progressive waste management. i don't even know what that means. oh, and also getting her master's in public administration.
me: sitting at my kitchen table, lights off. windows closed so that cats don't jump out. listening to built to spill next to a pot of dead cat grass. eating soggy greek salad that i stole from work. i work for a high tech marketing and pr firm. i am absolutely unfulfilled, clueless, and miserable.
and everyday i have a new escape plan. today: peace corps. yesterday: organic farm apprenticeship in san jose. two days ago: join the student conservation association and live in backwoods alaska. i would even get to carry a gun.
today, sara says i should check out the almunae network and find a mentor. all of these friends (excluding ira) have all attended wellesley college, the school from that movie with julia roberts, "mona lisa smile," and yes. it's just like that movie. bunch of high-achieving cunts. and they all seem to have their shit figured out. i don't belong on the almnae list.
so i'm sorting through the alumnae list, and instead of feeling inspired i compare myself to every single person and my heart starts pounding because i'll never be the research assistant at the metropolitan museum of art like one of my classmates. i'll never be head of graduate admissions at yale. fucking yale. fucking elitist, prestigious meaningful career paths.
i can't even grow cat grass.
posted by .i'll never tell. at 7:02 PM
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